awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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