the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
