I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
