Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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