i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
