Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
