How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Randomize
