my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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