dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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