Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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