We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
