there's paper in my vomit.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
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