She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
