so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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