dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
