FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
