I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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