My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
