so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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