i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
