Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
