ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
