now i know why i became what i already was.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
