Sponge bath it is.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
They took my balls.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
