these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
