he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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