there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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