Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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