Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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