He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
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i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
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which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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