Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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