Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
