Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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