is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
