I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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