When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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