problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
