just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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