I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
