were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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