This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
