im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
