Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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