he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
