I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
ugly people sure do ruin things
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
then he tried to convert me to islam
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
