you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
