At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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