Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
where are you?
Hypothermia
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
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