Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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