cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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