it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
