it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
