I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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