There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
