I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
