I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
