I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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