Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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