found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
