haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
