Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
